50 Funny Filipino Jokes and Puns for Nonstop Chuckles

Prepare for a delightful dose of humor and cultural insights with Filipino jokes! From witty language puns that playfully tease the intricacies of Tagalog and English interactions, to cheerful observations of local customs, food, and everyday experiences, these jokes offer a vibrant blend of laughter and cultural appreciation. Get ready to embark on a laughter-filled journey through the heart of Filipino humor!

Venturing into the realm of Filipino puns, it’s important to acknowledge that some may appear nonsensical or challenging to grasp for those unfamiliar with the culture. However, these playful wordplays hold a special place in the hearts of Filipinos, evoking a powerful sense of shared understanding and fostering communal laughter. As with any form of cultural humor, it is crucial to approach these jokes responsibly, maintaining a deep respect for the cultural context they stem from.

Best Filipino Jokes

Ano ang sabi ng isda sa isa pang isda? “Pakasalan mo na ako, i-swimmingly.”

(What did one fish say to another fish? “Marry me, it’s swimmingly.”)

Bakit hindi na naglakad ang manok? Kasi “Ni-remote control” na lang siya.

(Why did the chicken stop walking? Because it’s now “remote-controlled”.)

Ano ang tawag sa fish ball na maraming nakasabit na fish? “Fish-bus.”

(What do you call a fish ball with many hanging fish? “Fish-bus.”)

Ano ang sabi ng teacher sa batang mahilig mag-absent? “Para kang Bluetooth, palagi kang disconnected.”

(What did the teacher say to the student who often skips class? “You’re like Bluetooth, always disconnected.”)

Bakit takot ang kalendaryo sa cellphone? Kasi “Ma-swerte ang cellphone, forever na siya.”

(Why is the calendar scared of the cellphone? Because the cellphone is “lucky”, it stays forever.)

Ano ang sabi ng unan sa kumot? “Ihug mo ako, baka may kumot ka.”

(What did the pillow say to the blanket? “Hug me, maybe you have a blanket.”)

Bakit hindi natatakot ang eroplano? Kasi “Nag-skycraper na sila.”

(Why isn’t the airplane afraid? Because they’ve “skyscrapered”.)

Ano ang tawag sa maliit na biik na palaging galit? “Porcupine.”

(What do you call an angry small piglet? “Porcupine.”)

Bakit hindi umiinom ng softdrinks ang kalendaryo? Kasi “Zero sugar na sila.”

(Why doesn’t the calendar drink soft drinks? Because they’re “zero sugar” now.)

Ano ang tawag sa baklang dinosaur? “Tricerahugs.”

(What do you call a gay dinosaur? “Tricerahugs.”)

Bakit mahilig mag-exercise ang pusa? Para “Meow-tivation.”

(Why does the cat love to exercise? For “Meow-tivation.”)

Ano ang sinabi ng tamad na puno sa iba pang mga puno? “Leaf me alone.”

(What did the lazy tree say to the other trees? “Leaf me alone.”)

Bakit pababa ng pababa ang lipad ng ibon? Kasi “Na-slowmo” ang playlist niya.

(Why is the bird’s flight going down? Because its playlist is on “slowmo.”)

Ano ang sinabi ng maliit na lamok sa malaking lamok? “We are blood-related.”

(What did the small mosquito say to the big mosquito? “We are blood-related.”)

Bakit takot ang kahoy sa ibang kahoy? Kasi “May history na sila.”

(Why are trees afraid of other trees? Because they “have a history.”)

Ano ang tawag sa asong mahilig tumugtog ng piano? “Piano-key.”

(What do you call a dog that loves playing the piano? “Piano-key.”)

Bakit takot ang upuan sa toothpaste? Kasi “Nadidisplace sila.”

(Why are chairs afraid of toothpaste? Because they get “displaced.”)

Ano ang tawag sa babaeng naglakad ng pahalang? “Trending topic.”

(What do you call a woman walking sideways? “Trending topic.”)

Bakit hindi nanalo ang manok sa lotto? Kasi “Hinulog niya ang ticket sa drumstick.”

(Why didn’t the chicken win the lottery? Because it dropped the ticket in the drumstick.)

Ano ang sinabi ng hipon sa pusit? “Ink mo, sabaw ko.”

(What did the shrimp say to the squid? “Your ink, my broth.”)

Ano ang tawag sa tahimik na singing contest? “Mutekantahan.”

(What do you call a silent singing contest? “Mutekantahan.”)

Bakit sumama ang loob ng manok? Kasi “Nag-kahawkward-an.”

(Why did the chicken get upset? Because they “awkwarded” each other.)

Ano ang sinabi ng pusa sa ibon? “Tara, prito tayo!”

(What did the cat say to the bird? “Let’s have a fry!”)

Bakit hindi tinatapakan ng elepante ang bubuyog? Kasi “Bee-responsable sila.”

(Why doesn’t the elephant step on the bee? Because they’re “bee-responsible.”)

Ano ang tawag sa isang dancing cow? “Mooving performer.”

(What do you call a dancing cow? “Mooving performer.”)

Bakit tinanggal ang ibon sa basketball team? Kasi “Bawal mag-fly.”

(Why was the bird removed from the basketball team? Because “flying” is not allowed.)

Ano ang tawag sa magandang cellphone? “Smartphone-na.”

(What do you call a beautiful cellphone? “Smartphone-na.”)

Bakit takot ang pawikan sa bilog? Kasi “Makakasama sa shell nila.”

(Why are turtles afraid of circles? Because it “goes against their shell.”)

Ano ang tawag sa pusa na expert sa social media? “Insta-kitty.”

(What do you call a cat that’s an expert in social media? “Insta-kitty.”)

Bakit hindi sumama ang daga sa party? Kasi “Nakaisip ng better mousetrap.”

(Why didn’t the mouse go to the party? Because it “thought of a better mousetrap.”)

Ano ang sabi ng kalendaryo sa makalawa? “See you yesterday!”

(What did the calendar say to the day after tomorrow? “See you yesterday!”)

Bakit mahilig mag-bike ang kabayo? Para “Maburn ang fats.”

(Why does the horse love to bike? To “burn the fats.”)

Ano ang tawag sa isdang kuba? “Croaker.”

(What do you call a hunchback fish? “Croaker.”)

Bakit ang paboritong subject ng kalendaryo ay history? Kasi “Nandun ang dates nila.”

(Why is history the calendar’s favorite subject? Because their dates are there.)

Ano ang sabi ng laway sa ngipin? “Tamaan ka sana ng brush.”

(What did the saliva say to the tooth? “I hope you get hit by a brush.”)

Bakit takot ang plato sa kutsara at tinidor? Kasi “Baka ma-fork-let.”

(Why are plates afraid of spoons and forks? They might get “forked.”)

Ano ang tawag sa aktor na malaki ang tiyan? “Siningit.”

(What do you call an actor with a big belly? “Siningit” (inserted).)

Bakit hindi nanonood ng TV ang magnanakaw? Kasi “May CCTV.”

(Why don’t thieves watch TV? Because there’s “CCTV.”)

Ano ang tawag sa taong laging nakasimangot? “Mukhang asim.”

(What do you call a person who always frowns? “Sour-faced.”)

Bakit takot ang itlog na ma-overcook? Kasi “Nabuburnout sila.”

(Why are eggs afraid of being overcooked? Because they get “burned out.”)

Ano ang sabi ng pusa sa computer? “Mouse ka ba? Kasi nahuhuli kita.”

(What did the cat say to the computer? “Are you a mouse? Because I’m catching you.”)

Bakit hindi dapat sumama ang pusa sa magic show? Kasi “Baka ma-catnap.”

(Why shouldn’t the cat go to a magic show? They might “catnap” it.)

Ano ang tawag sa fish ball na galit? “Angri-fish ball.”

(What do you call an angry fish ball? “Angri-fish ball.”)

Bakit nag-aaral ang pusa? Kasi “Meow-garal sila.”

(Why do cats study? Because they’re “meow-tivated.”)

Ano ang tawag sa isdang hindi marunong lumangoy?

“Fish-stuck.” (What do you call a fish that doesn’t know how to swim? “Fish-stuck.”)

Bakit nagtapon ng cellphone ang langgam? Kasi “Smartphone na siya, ayaw nang insect-a.”

(Why did the ant throw away the cellphone? Because it’s already a “smartphone,” it doesn’t want to be an “insect-a” anymore.)

Ano ang sinabi ng kalendaryo sa bilog? “Kita tayo next year!”

(What did the calendar say to the circle? “See you next year!”)

Bakit nag-gym ang baboy? Para “Fit-silog” siya.

(Why did the pig go to the gym? To become “fit-silog.”)

Ano ang tawag sa isdang hindi marunong magswimming? “Fishy-nal.”

(What do you call a fish that doesn’t know how to swim? “Fishy-nal.”)

Bakit naglakad ang tamad? Kasi “Nasabi sa kanya, Walkman.”

(Why did the lazy person walk? Because someone told them, “Walk, man.”)

Also read: Pride Month Jokes